My friend Linda Abbott is my very favorite person to jam on dating, love, sex and relationships with. We debrief after many dates and conversations and experiences with men. We hold each other up in tender moments when things don't work out, when our hearts get broken open (again and again), and when things do work out and it's time to expand.
We also keep each other accountable to the healing we've both done around breaking old patterns and habits around codependency, tolerating poor treatment, and being able to see red flags and hold loving, compassionate and firm boundaries with both ourselves and others.
This chat is something we've been cooking up for months. We scanned over our texts and jotted down some of the most important things we've been through in the last year in all realms of the heart, intimacy, devotion, pleasure and more, and we committed to hitting a record and just talking until we were done.
That ended up being two hours and forty minutes, so grab some tea, break it up into sessions if you need to, maybe invite some friends to listen with you and instead of a Netflix binge session, have a deep listening session with us.
Since we're both heterosexual women, our experiences are limited. We do however hope the conversations around boundaries, honoring ourselves, breaking patterns and habits, vulnerability, having tough conversations and getting clear about what we want in love can be applied across a wider range of relationship and sexual orientations.
We're sure you'll let us know if they do or don't and we appreciate that.
One of the things we were most excited to emphasize was how all of these experiences have taught us a lot about men and ignited deep compassion within us for their experiences, too.
Not to excuse poor behavior or anything, but to see them as people too, not just perpetrators or adversaries which they are often painted as (and sometimes rightfully so!).
That said, share this with the men in your life. It's a great conversation opener and probably a gateway into better understanding our side of things too.
Finally, we laugh A TON throughout this conversation...so be ready.
We're so so excited to share this with you and can't wait to hear from you after you listen.
To all of us walking each other home and through the epic, deep, winding, beautiful and excruciating journeys of the heart - may we be met, seen, held, accepted, supported and loved - and may we meet, see, hold, accept, support and love...better.
E + L